Game on

As some of you know, we've had weekly family breakfasts for over a year now. On saturday mornings my kids and grandkids all come over to the house (and sometimes special guests) for breakfast. We've had as many as 14 for this gathering...

A quick aside....

My daughter's (#1) marriage has broken up, my son-in-law already has a new girlfriend - someone he met at work. Now of course, there were all of the assurances that this woman had nothing to do with the breakup, but I was born at night, not last night. But whatever.

Things weren't going very well for them for some time, so I don't view it with anything but some sadness. I do however, think my daughter will be better for it, as well as the grandkids.

So, daughter #1 and the grandkids are moving back into my house. And it's been an adjustment for Patti and I, we were empty nesters for about 6 months or so. And we were good at it!

But it's pretty cool having our daughter and the grandkids around - good kids all! But I digress...

We suspended the weekly breakfasts for the month of October so Patti and I could get the house ready. Moving our office (nice while it lasted) and making it the kids room, and converting our guest room into a room for our daughter. Plus the actual moving of all her crap!

So this saturday is the return of the weekly breakfast. And this news was received pretty enthusiastically by all.

I miss the breakfasts, they are a lot of work for me (the cook!), but I really don't mind. It really has changed our family dynamic. We're all much closer and meeting every week, just for an hour or so, it has really made a difference.

I hope most of you can conjure up an excellent family time, perhaps over Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners. Well, that's what it's like for us. A lot of laughing, talking, the kids running around - good stuff. The best part is we don't have to wait a whole year in between!

Two stratas on deck for saturday - (kinda like a casserole) plus fresh fruit (always!), juice and coffee....
mmmmmmm.... breakfast......
m.

fear and loathing in the U.S.

I've thought for a long while now that the media's #1 mission has been to scare the shit out of us. Michael Moore's 'Bowling for Columbine' had quite a bit of insight on this phenomenon.

Now I can't stand Michael Moore, he is the worst kind of liberal douche bag, but he makes a valid point. Keep us scared and watching that tv for the latest idol.

And the fear being expressed both by Wall Street and our government is palpable. It all comes down to trusting their assessment of the situation.

I'm no economist, I would never profess to understand the underpinnings of our economy, let alone a global one.

So, where does that leave us?

The way I see it, it'll go one of two ways. We'll be hurt, a lot of people will suffer, but we'll continue on much the same way. Or, 2, the whole house of cards comes down.

Now, choice 2 is a scary proposition, and really, no one wants that, even if it is our comeuppance for our sins. (as an aside, yes OUR sins - yes, the banks acted in a predatory manner for their own gain, but a lot of people signed on the dotted line for those loans - there was greed all the way down the food chain)

So what if #2 becomes reality? I could worry at that for days, but really what can I do about it? Is there something I can do to affect the situation one way or the other? I can't think of anything.

I, for one, refuse to live in fear. Yes, I'll do what I've got to do to protect and provide my family, but I'm not going to make myself sick worrying about it.

Life is a messy business and challenges and threats to our well being come from everywhere, from troubles with your spouse and kids, your job etc. Now it's coming from a place we can't get our heads around, least I can't, and it seems to me the 'experts' don't know either.

What this boils down to is a threat to our lifestyles, not our lives. There is a lot of good in our families and communities, perhaps now we'll focus and nurture those things. It's time to help each other, our neighbors, our communities our towns and cities.

It's time for us to bail our government out, not because they deserve it, but because we do. The government has lost it's heart and soul and we as a people need to give it a bailout of a different kind. It's time to serve each other not for personal gain, but for each other - for the greater good that is this nation. The government has lost it's heart - we need to give it some of ours.

I believe we can make our lives richer than our possessions, but only if we remember who we are and what we are - husbands, wives, families, communities and especially- Americans.

The rest is just stuff.
m.

ok, I've had better moments

Rough night last night.

Ol' Ike rolled through the night before last and we had some damage on the 100 year old tree in front of my house. A couple of branches came down, including one that got caught up in other branches on its way down.

Now I like to think I'm a reasonably intelligent guy. I'm a system analyst, I write code all day long in a cubicle.

But dumbassery plauges us all, and last night I proved that point.

The branch that was caught up, was (of course), just out of my grasp. I'm 5'4" tall, so most of them are out of my grasp.! So I got a step ladder. Not a big one, maybe a 5 footer or so. And I still couldn't reach it. So, I got a rake, thinking I just need to hook it over the branch and break it
free. But it wouldn't budge! It had really wedged itself in the other branches.

So I was out there, 3 steps or so up the ladder pulling on the rake that I had caught the fallen branch on. That thing was caught up good, so during the pulling and shaking, I had gotten it to move a bit, 'one more pull ought to do it'....

The branch rebounded, pulling me off of the ladder and we all went tumbling down. (I fought the tree, and the tree won!) Me, the ladder, and the rake. (the branch is STILL there). The ladder was on my front sidewalk, I had kicked that to the right, the rake and I went down together. I landed awkwardly on my left wrist, but I got right up and commenced pulling on it some more.

Then it started to hurt and I figured that was enough for one night. I mean, how stupid was that? The only thing I could have done worse was to wear rollerblades while attempting all that. Pretty stupid move for a 'smart' guy.

I went in the house, and took stock. After about 15 minutes or so, I had a golf ball size lump on the back of my forearm and my left hand was really aching.

Off to the emergency room for x-rays! I was pretty sure I broke or at least fractured something. After only about 2 1/2 hours I was done. No break but a sizable 'hemotoma' on my forearm.

Really, it looks a LOT better this morning than last night. I iced it down three times (per the emer. room dr.) and the swelling is greatly reduced. Pretty sore today though....

My kids laughed their asses off! And everytime Patti told one of the kids, they were aghast at dad's stupidity.

Patti ALWAYS laughs when I get hurt. (especially self-inflicted stupidity!) It's a nervous kind of laughter and always is curious to me. The worse I'm hurt, the harder she laughs. She was pretty shook up - she actually saw me fall. She didn't laugh then, but when I showed her my forearm she started to giggle.

Actually, I can use that to gauge the seriousness of injuries. The harder she laughs, the more I should be concerned I guess....

The kids got a pretty good laugh out of it all and I'm a bit embarrassed and sore.

But it could have been much, much worse.

Consider me humbled!
m.

Confessions of an old concert goer

On thursday's every summer my most excellent home town, Buffalo, NY has 'Thursday in the Square'.

For the last 22 years there have been free concerts in one of the city squares downtown.

I haven't gone down to one of these in quite a few years. Firstly, you're likely to stand for the event, which is cool, but you have to get there early if you'd like a place near the bandstand, so you're looking at 5 hours worth or so. I tend to see bands now where I'm sure I can get a seat, I think my 'festival seating' days are over. Secondly, there really haven't had anyone come to the series that I HAD to see.

Now I love to see live bands, always have. I've played in bands since I was 19, and had the good fortune of hooking up with some talented, creative people over the years. I played every bar in this town that hosted bands. (as well as Toronto, Rochester, and NYC)

I was never in a cover or wedding band, always original music which is fun, challenging and really suits me as a player. I was never uber talented, I just worked hard at it, and at the end of the day I think I'm a really good rhythm (I spelled that about 40 times wrong, btw...) guitar player. I can play simple lead stuff, but I will never be a 'shredder', but I digress.

Last night Patti and I made the trip down to see Big Head Todd and the Monsters.

BHTM has never really made it big, but they're a really solid working band. They were on the big list of bands we like that we never got to see and we've been fans since the early '90's. The last time they came to Buffalo, they were part of a street festival thing with a bunch of bands. You know, one of those all day things. Anyhow, we passed on it then, so when we had a chance to see them - for free no less - we did the thing. (based in Colorado, they don't make it east all that much...)

I think it's been 3 - 5 years since we checked out a concert in the square (Amiee Mann or Ben Folds - not sure of the chronology - both AMAZING btw). We got there early and actually found a place along a stone wall to sit!!! (ok, stone wall - not super comfortable, but better than standing). The first thing I noticed was 2 block long beer tents! There have been some changes. They always served beer, but this was mass production beer for the masses. There are also tents selling pizza, beef on weck, etc.

The crowd trended a bit older than I expected, and by the end of it there were a LOT of drunken people there. I was kinda surprised at how many. We had a pretty good fight happen right behind us (over a girl/woman) and a couple of falling down drunks escorted by security. It looked to me that for a good percentage of the attendees that the beer was what brought them downtown. And beer up they did. I don't mind a few cokes myself, but I find the slurring/staggering drunk thing unpleasant, and there were more than a few....

Anyhow...

The crowd was pretty thin up until the end of the opening act (they were given a glowing review in the paper this morning - I expect the reviewer had been in the beer tent). They were a blues outfit, but I didn't think they were anything special. The lead singer/guitar player tuned (audibly) between EVERY SONG!!! (sometimes during!) Drove me up a wall. (Geez man, get a tuner that mutes so we don't have to hear you plinkin' away)

Big Head Todd threw down a really great show. You can tell when a band has been playing together for a long time. Very tight, very good band. They totally deliver. We're fans so we knew nearly every song and they did a great job. Go see these guys if you can - good fun.

I'm draggin' ass a bit today, in a good way....
m.

kitchen gadgets

As some of you know, I'm the cook in the house. Patti just doesn't like to cook, and I quite enjoy it.

I've done all the cooking since we've been together (25 years now).

Being a guy, I have tool acquisition syndrome. This spills into my kitchen stuff.

First, a few prerequisites.

1) Easy to store.
Especially if it is a minor appliance or something I'm not going to use too often.
2) Easy to clean. We've NEVER had a dishwasher. (I am the dishwasher, although Patti helps with this periodically).
3) Useful in a daily sort of way.
Not everything I've got fits in this category. My mortar and pestle for instance. I don't use it super often, but when you need one, there is no substitute.

I have a couple of favorites:
1) Bagel guillotine. Amazing product. I think the first time I saw one was on TV (the OC I think - my wife and daughter #3 were fans). If you do the bagel thang, it's a must have. Bagels are a Sunday morning thing at the house. I run to Manhattan Bagel - best in Buffalo - and pick up a 1/2 dozen (or so). The guillotine is getting kinda old now though. It's becoming more of a bagel folder than a guillotine these days.
2) Pampered Chef's Cheese grater. Comes with a soft and hard cheese 'wheel'. I'm surprised just how often I use this thing. I've had it for years and I probably use it several times a week.
3) Flexible spatula. It took me a while to find this, (Ikea!), but a spatula that is thin and flexes. Perfect for turning eggs.
4) Pampered Chef's Garlic press - We LOVE garlic. This is an excellent press with a cleaning tool. (If you've ever left one sit before you get to cleaning it, you know what a pain getting these clean is...)
5) Not a 'gadget' per se, but my All-Clad cookware. I lusted after a set of these for at least a decade. They are expensive, but totally worth it. I've had them for nearly two years and often I think how they make a difference. I have the plain aluminum, I don't like non-stick cookware...
6) My cast iron skillet. Heavy mo fo but 'the' tool for the job when making home fries or potatoes anna (holy crap these are excellent!!!) - sometimes old school is the best.


m.

counting it down again

ok, just 3 and 1/2 days left...

And another week of vacation is here!!! whooohoooo!!!!!

Yes, I know, I just had one. (like a month ago)

And I worked my ass off.

This one, is just for fun. We're gonna do what we want, when we want. Or not. Patti and I are really good at doing very little! Patti can be reading, I'll be puttering around the house. It works for us.

We are watching the grandkids for a couple days, shouldn't be a big deal. Daughter #1 is going to North Carolina to visit some friends. Other than a couple of little projects (self imposed and if they get blown off it'll be no surprise)

I want to build a mirror for our upstairs hall. I've considered using maple, but I think I'm going to go with oak or mahogany. Simple clean design, shaker-ish. Both would look good, it kinda depends on how dark Patti wants the finished product.

But that's really it.

Daughter #3 returns to school for another year of pharmacy grad school. (2 of 4)I think she misses her friends and her apartment. And I think she really enjoys living alone. It's been really nice having her around, and we'll miss and worry about her when she leaves, but it's what she needs to do. Next year this time, she'll be half way through, one more year academics, 1 year internship/rotations. Then she'll be out in the world a PharmD. Man, I am so proud of that kid.

ah, summer....
m.

so that makes me...

My eldest gransdon turns 8 this friday. Eight! Holy shit!!!

It's times like these how early Patti and I started our family. When we went to my 20th HS reunion, we had all high school age kids. Mostly, there were toddlers to 7/8 year olds everywhere. Seemed strange then, seems strange now.

He presented us with a list of items he wants for his birthday last saturday. I didn't total it up, but it is easily in the $1000.00 + range.

But that's cool. It's a good thing to know what you want I guess. This is the same grandson that asked for an iPhone last Christmas.

He's very tuned into pop culture. Watches waaaaaaay too much TV and is a bit of a class clown. It makes sense to me that he'd like to live on the bleeding edge of technology. I think he sees (as many people do, not just kids) that owning the latest gadget gives you some cache. He's kinda arty, not very sporty. He plays soccer, Patti and I went to a recent game, but his heart isn't in it. He's remarkably like my son #2, who is finishing his masters this school year in conducting. He's very popular at school and has a bit of his mom's free spirit in him. I like him a lot (of course, I love him too, but I like who he is, ya know?)

Surprisingly, he hasn't got the cell phone yet, but it's only a matter of time. I went to a taco joint for lunch yesterday and there were a couple of kids in there that couldn't have been older than 8 or so and they both had cell phones. Weird.

Our saturday breakfast is going to be a birthday celebration for him, with presentation of the 'big gift'. Should be a lot of fun!

So happy birthday grandson #1!!!!

m.

ok, let's do that again

1st day back from vacation. Man, I needed some vacation.

It occurred to me that it had been nearly 52 weeks since we had a week off. I was feeling a bit ragged going into vacation, so I guess that explains it. I tend to compartmentalize my work life from my home life, and lately the work life seemed to be my only life.

Vacation helped. We did a lot around the house. Totally re-painted my living room. When we bought our house 5 years ago, we painted the entire 2nd floor where the bedrooms are. Last year we completed the hall and stairs to the second floor and did the dining room. The walls in the entire downstairs were all white. Now, white is ok, but we sure didn't like it. We continued the color scheme from the hall all around the living room. HUGE difference. It doesn't even look the same. We were able for the first time to set up our new Danish Modern living room stuff in the newly painted room. I'll try to post some pics, I've got to hang some pictures and a couple minor things, but it's done!!!!

We did manage to knock off every day by 2 or so in the afternoon, so there was plenty of play time as well. And play we did.

This working for a living thing really cuts into your free time!

m.

makes ya shake your head....

My son and his new wife arrived back from their honeymoon to discover their apartment had been broken into. Now, as bad as that is, it could have gone much worse. They lost an X-Box, a bunch of games, a laptop (brand new) and a bunch of dvd's. They bad guys crowbar'd the door open.

My son's new mother-in-law was supposed to go and drop off all of the wedding gifts while they were gone, but just didn't get around to it. Thank God for that.

Interestingly, the apartment super had a crew in there replacing windows while they were gone. My son is convinced they saw stuff they wanted, and then one of the crew came back and took what they wanted. Could be, there are cameras all over (it's a high rise 8 floors with bunches of apartments on each floor), and the owner says they've got nothing on camera.

Fortunately, my son has a friend in the police force and he's looking out to see if they can get something done. I've gotten robbed once, never heard another thing from the police. And I get that, I mean, my stuff is small potatoes in the big picture. Still sucks though.

It seems to me these days that evil flourishes. Nice guys finish last.

So where does that leave the good people? Are we just to be fodder for the evil do-ers? Or, do we turn in to the back stabbing pricks that seem to have it all their way these days? It makes me feel impotent, and a bit foolish, to expect people to behave in a civilized manner anymore.

There is no accountability (I really hate that word, but it fits).

Seems to me people do whatever they 'need' to do to get what they want - illegal, immoral or otherwise, and there is no justice, no comeuppance. There is no Kharma, evil wins.

Recent example from my home town. A principal of a high school here illegally suspended a senior for nearly two months, without true cause. (there were allegations that she wore a hoody to school and used her cell phone while at school) There was media coverage, special investigations, board meetings both public and private. This principal has a history of running that school like her own little fiefdom, running teachers right out of the school if she had a mind to.

After months of investigations, the principal was found to be 'in the wrong', but because of protection from the union and the district, was not disciplined. At all. Nothing.

So what is the moral of that story?

Look, I know I'm being a real bummer here, but how are we to teach our children and young people (or grown ups if you can find one) the right thing to do , when the wrong thing will get you farther? How do we teach that doing wrong - IS wrong - when they get exactly the results they want without any consequence?

(Hey, OJ how's that golf game? Hey Enron execs, how your villa in Florence doing?)

I know I can be a cynical prick sometimes (really I do), but I want so badly to believe in the goodness of people, despite the evidence to the contrary. I try to do the right thing, and even if lying, cheating, stealing could get me what I want, I couldn't live with myself. (Lord knows I'm not perfect, but I'm tryin')

So, there it is.
Maybe it's just me.
Maybe I just have an overdeveloped sense of justice,
Maybe I'm out of touch.

Could be.

Still feels wrong to me and I don't know what to do with it.
m.

Ouch!

Well, the plumbing adventure continues...

I've got the quotes on what we need done and man, it's a LOT of money.

Phase one, broken drain in the floor. This only handles the kitchen sink and the stationary tub/washer. They were snaking the drain and hit dirt! Bad sign that. Anyhow, the boys from the plumber's were in yesterday and here's where we're at.

Big pile of kinda stinky dirt in the middle of the floor, and partially completed repair. Things kinda snowballed on the guys (Adrian and Morgan - really good guys), and they couldn't finish.

The good news is we still could shower, use the toilets (whew!), just no kitchen sink, and no laundry. They're supposed to be here at 9 to finish the job, then I've got one heck of a cleanup ahead.

That's the cheaper job. Phase 2 is replacing the sewer from the stack to the vent in the yard. HOLY SHIT that's expensive.

I'm still reeling a bit...

On the good side, one more week of work after today and vacation!!!! (do the vacation dance wherever you are!)

Man, I need that. So does Patti. We're doing veranda beach and I'm thrilled about it. We're going to paint our living room, and really kept it pretty open ended from there.

And that's nice in a way too. We've had a lot of vacations (especially when the kids were small) where we came home more exhausted than when we left!

I'm really looking forward to a whole week with Patti, just hanging out, drinking wine and chasing each other 'round the house!

Have a good one and may the plumbing gods look kindly on you!
m.

miscellany

I heard from my son on his honeymoon. (is that weird?) He called me to let me know they are there ok and give me an update on how amazingly cool the cruise ship is, and get my Dad's number in Florida so they can visit after the cruise. They'll be snorkeling, dolphin swimming, rock climbing and roller blading. I was exhausted just listening to the itinerary.

The wedding went very, very well. The kids looked really, really happy. The wedding was at 11 with a reception immediately following. Which was amazing. I hate when there are hours in between. We were home by 4:30 and the kids boarded a plane at 6:45 to begin their honeymoon.
Really very well done, the kids handled themselves with great grace and I was so very proud of both of them.

Another cool thing. I saw my 2 year old grandson out on the dance floor. He did the cha-cha slide with his mom. It was effing priceless. YMCA was great too. He was stomping, jumping and raising his hands it was brilliant.

Had some plumbing fun yesterday. And things snowballed from there. Right now we're facing the breaking up of our basement floor, replacement of a floor drain and a broken pipe, and the re-doing of our sewer run to the street. I'm waiting on the estimate, this is gonna hurt!

Pants. Does that denote the whole garment? Or just a leg's worth. If you need a new 'pair' of pants it describes both legs right? There is a 'pant leg', is that half of pants? Just curious.

Thongs. I love 'em, Patti hates 'em. I don't know what I like better. The look of them, or the thought of them under a garment. Just sayin'.

Hail, Hail the long weekend baby!
m.

tick tock

Getting down to it. My son's wedding is tomorrow at 11 am.

Rehearsal and dinner tonight.

I saw son #2 last night and he's calm and collected. Doing a lot of last minute running around for the honeymoon etc.

I really feel good about this one. I'm sure everyone has been to a wedding where it's 'oh boy, I hope they're gonna be ok'. I know I have. And that's probably not very generous, but hey, it's the truth. Patti and I heard through the grapevine that we were given the obligatory 6 months. (23 + years later, HA!).

These two are a good match. And all of the cliches apply. I am gaining another daughter. I really like my (future) daughter in law and I feel she is going to make son #2 a better man. I believe in marriage and I know how the love of a good woman can make all the difference. She's strong where he's not and I think as long as he's listening, she will be a great help to him in his life and career.

Women see the world differently, they see plots and sub-plots of the world in situations that are somehow not obvious to men. That perspective has been a boon to me throughout my married life, and I'm often discussing stuff with Patti to hear what she thinks in just about every situation.

I know this because I lived it. I'm a better man today because of Patti. I can't imagine how different my life would be if she wasn't in it.

And I hold that hope for my son and his new wife.

m.

The Wedding March

Getting down to it. Son number two gets married next weekend.

The shower, stag and stagette (?) have come and gone. Today I have to go and get fitted for my tux. Tonight, Patti and I are going out looking at dresses. This mother of the bride stuff is a lot of pressure for Patti. She's not a 'girly' girl, if you know what I mean. She understands the social expectations, but she's doesn't really doesn't respond well to that sort of thing.

I don't either, for that matter. We both tend to view social obligations as a royal PITA. I mean, I got off easy with the tux. They even picked the shoes. We guys really do have it easier. With guys, it's like a uniform. A suit, a tux, a sport coat. Done. It's a LOT more complicated for Patti.

So it translates into a measurable amount of stress. So we'll do the thing and see what happens. When son #1 got married, we actually found 2 dresses that she liked. (it was like a freakin' miracle) Not to mention, shoes, accessories, undergarments for the chosen dress...
bleh...

Patti is a small women (we're like a miniature family - everyone is there - just smaller) and although she turns 50 this year, you'd never know it. Patti used to color her hair, now there is quite a bit of grey, but still she looks much younger. She looks fabulous. But there is the standard measure of female insecurity there too.

So, my part in this is somewhat delicate. I will have to navigate the 'does this make me look fat' conversations with great diplomacy. It's strange how even very attractive women get caught up in all that, and it can be a bit of a mine field for us guys - I would never want to hurt her feelings over a stupid dress that she'll probably wear once. For example, the dress just doesn't look good on her. Maybe it's the cut, the color, whatever. There's the rub. Communicate that carefully, my friends.

And the irony in all of it is that she has excellent taste and whatever she eventually buys will be flattering and tasteful for the occasion.

geez, this IS a PITA...
m.

Father's Day

Father's day started pretty early for me on Sunday.

We were watching grandson #3, and everything was going swimmingly. We had an excellent day with the boy and got him to bed without incident.

Then, things got weird.

About 12:30 am or so, he fell out of his bed. He's two years old and a couple of months and we have this toddler bed that fits him just fine. It's only a foot and a half off of the floor. Well, when he fell he landed right on his face. He cut his face just under his lip. At first, I thought he had driven his teeth right through, but he just tore up the inside of his lip pretty good and I was able to get the bleeding to stop. Poor kid looks like Jake Lamotta now though. Ok, Jake Lamotta with Pamela Anderson's lips!

He took a bit to settle down, and we were feeling like awful grandparents. Anyhow, we're just getting back to sleep and there was a crash of glass breaking.

It was hard to figure if it was inside or outside of the house. I ran downstairs and went out to the porch where I saw a car had jumped the curb, plowed a chunk of my lawn up and took out a sign. He was in the process of backing back onto the street, which he managed, but when he tried to leave, his front bumper was dragging under the car. So he did what we all of us would have done, he got out of the car, ripped the bumper from the car and threw it on my lawn and drove away.

This was about 1:30 am. So I went outside and checked things out. He'd left his grille, some headlights, lots of busted stuff and the bumper.

So I called 911 and let them know what had just happened. They asked if I had a description of the guy and I did, but really it wasn't much to go on. Then they asked if I got the license plate. Well, I did. It was still attached to the front bumper!!! The dispatcher said 'that'll make it easy to find him' and laughed. What a dumbass...

They told me to just wait and they'd send a cruiser over. About 1 1/2 hours later two female officers arrived and we did the report and they told me I could clean everything up.

So I cleaned up all the car parts, grass and dirt from my front lawn. I got to bed about 4 am.

I did manage a nap after my son in law picked up the boy, but I never really felt all that together for the rest of the day. The kids stopped by and wished me a Happy Father's day and Patti and I had a nice evening together.

Certainly, not your average Father's day!
m.

23 and counting

Patti and I have a couple of anniversaries. Patti can't remember them, she seems impaired somehow, strange trait in a woman. I often have to remind her that it's coming up and she never knows how many years. We have the living together anniversary, the sleeping together anniversary and the honest to God wedding anniversary.

That was yesterday, our actual wedding anniversary.

23 years married. More than my parents or grandparents managed, more than Patti's parents managed.

Pretty laid back as anniversary celebrations went.

We met the kids and toured that house on our street that was for sale. It's pretty hammered. Especially the downstairs apartment. And there is something very bad happening with the foundation. Someone is coming to check that out and get an estimate on it today.

We went back to our house, got some take out, watched 'Pretty in Pink' the everything Duckie edition (our next 'P' movie), and had some private anniversary fun.

We never were much on the celebrating thing. I remember, I think it was our 10th, we were going to get all dressed up and go 'out'. Maybe to a restaurant and drinks afterward. When it got to the big day, we bagged the whole thing, hit some fast food and chased each other around the house for a few hours.

And so it goes.

I'm not complaining at all. We'd much rather be home, and the rest seems like a lot of fuss! Works for us, ya know?

And I wouldn't change a thing, I can't imagine my life without Patti in it, and I know I'm a better man for being with her!

I don't know everything, but I know what a gift she's been to me.

I am one lucky man.
m.

the 'what-ifs'

I'm having a big case of the 'what ifs' lately. I'm prone to this sort of thing.

I think it's my way of trying to control my life. I'm not a control freak (I don't think), but I spend a lot of mental energy on trying to figure out 'what if this happens, how will I respond?'. 'What if my little biz takes off?'

A house went up for sale in my neighborhood last week. A double (3 bedrooms up, 3 down) Patti and I have been sorta looking at doubles for my kids. Now one came up about 10 houses away. It's waaaay under market value and we can't even tour it until tomorrow. We have an appt. at 5pm.

Here's the plan. Daughter #1 and the grandkids in the lower, Son #2 and his new wife (wedding on the 28th) in the upper. That would just be amazing. Sure, we'd charge them rent, but it would be lower than they are both paying now and they'd have a much bigger place.

What if we get it? What if it's too hammered? What if the inspection turns up something bad?

I mean, I'm working overtime on this these days. I only have to wait one day, but it's hard for me not to get a bit carried away.

Daughter #1's marriage is dissolving, she needs the help, plus our grandkids would be right down the block! My son is in graduate school and has at least two years left. He's all excited to have a whole new yard to landscape! (He completely re-landscaped my entire front yard - we won awards and were placed on the Buffalo Garden walk!)

So, lots of what ifs. It can drive a guy nuts...
m.

If it was easy, everybody would do it

My daughter's marriage is coming apart.

It's been coming for a while. You can only go to the brink so many times before you drop over the edge, ya know? They've been together over 5 years, (one son together) and he's bailing out.

Tough stuff this marriage stuff. My daughter has said to my wife that she 'wants what you and dad have'. And I get that, I do.

And Patti and I do have a terrific relationship, I am one lucky short bald guy and I know it. Our relationship is a marvel even to me, and I'm in it!

I know what we overcame to get here, and trust me our first 10 years or so were very tough. But not with/on each other. The world was tough on us, some of it self inflicted, some of it pressed on us. And we, at a very young age (23, and 25 - older woman - gotta love it!), were tested in a way most couples are not.

And I think it served to galvanize us. We had to fight together to survive our early years of no money and tough family situations. And it made our marriage resilient.

Marriage isn't for the weak of heart. It's a job for grown-ups.

It's about putting yourself down on the list a bit. It's about waiting for what you want, so your wife and kids get what they want. It's about giving up on what you want for your wife and kids needs, and accepting the sacrifice for the greater good (without all the resentment). And Patti has reciprocated in kind. (how awesome is that!)

Oversimplified? I don't think so. Easy? Not in my experience.

like I said, if it was easy, everybody would do it!
m.

Radio, Radio

In a very weird turn of events, I was interviewed on the classic rock station in Buffalo yesterday morning about my little biz!

I send a large percentage of my orders overseas, and I've been tucking stuff from Buffalo, NY (my sunny - at least today! - hometown). I really do love this town, it's a great place to live and an excellent place to raise a family. And with 5 kids and 3 grandkids, I've done my part!

I've been wrapping my product in the sunday paper, putting stationary in the boxes that have the Buffalo logo, that sort of thing. And I've gotten some cool reactions from my customers. One of my best customers in Norway read the sunday paper bits with his wife over dinner. And although they obviously don't know any of the local scene, they got quite a kick out of it.

So, I called the chamber of commerce to see if they had any promotional stuff I could put in the boxes. After getting transferred around, I finally got a guy who, although enthusiastic, never followed through.

Got me to thinking. One of the biggest Buffalo promoters in this town is Larry Norton on 97 Rock.

Larry has had a long and successful career here and is really active in charity and community events. So I dropped him and email to tell him what I've been up to. He called me back in 10 minutes after I sent it and set up an interview. So I was on the radio yesterday morning!

I was sooo nervous, I think it came out ok, I haven't heard anything back from the Norton in the Morning team yet.

Last night I said to Patti a couple times 'holy shit, I was on the radio this morning'.

What a strange/cool adventure this biz has been!

Thanks to everyone at 97 Rock - very,very cool.

I'm gonna listen to 'Physical Graffiti' today in your honor!

m.

Danish Modern part 1

I didn't know much about Danish Modern style of furniture, I've subsequently done some research on it and there are some very cool pieces out there.

Our adventure started with the dining room set, we picked up an entire set of dining room furniture from an estate sale at a consignment shop. We also found a sofa, chair, end tables and a coffee table from the same sale and got them too!!!

Here is the table - it expands out to 106" so we'll finally be able to seat everyone together!!!!
(we had 10 at Saturday breakfast this week - no problems fitting everyone!)

We also got a credenza/china cabinet combo that we placed along one wall, and a server that we temporarily put in front of the doors to our porch. I did some research on this line of furniture and if the server had a black top (ours does) it was originally sold as a 'bar cart' - whoohoooo!

I've also thrown in a pic of our dining room 'built in'. Our house was built in 1917 and is kinda (but not truly) Arts and Crafts - that stained glass window has been featured in an 'architecture walk' in the city.

I haven't taken any pics of the living room stuff yet, I'll post those soon!

What do you think?
m.

Patriarch (!?)

Patti surprised me over the weekend by referring to me as a 'patriarch'.

Conjures up some weird, Norman Rockwellian stuff for me.

We were setting up our new dining room furniture. Which is new/old. We picked it up second hand from a furniture consignment place and we got a complete dining room and living room set, all in Danish Modern style.

And when we were talking about where I should sit, Patti mentioned as the patriarch I should sit at the head of the table. Mostly, I just want to be near to the kitchen as I'm always serving/getting something during a meal. I don't think I've eaten a hot meal I've cooked in years! (The cooks out there understand - I just worry about serving everyone else first)

Patti and I both come from 'broken' homes. Both our folks divorced/remarried, my grandparents divorced/remarried. You need a legal pad to track all the kids/stepkids etc.

The thing I struggle with is the 'old' connotation to patriarch. I really have no problem with that mantle and I suppose it is true, Patti and I have become the patriarch and matriarch of a very close, loving family. I don't know how we did it, we certainly didn't have good examples of what a good marriage/family looks like. It seems miraculous to me, like some happy accident. But we did work hard at being good parents, we always took it seriously. It's strange the way life works sometimes.

And I don't mind that I'm 48 now, being older doesn't really bother me. But when I picture patriarch in my head, it resembles and old amish guy at the head of a great table, ya know?

Oh, I did get a pic of band practice! Here's yours truly....


I was going to put fester's pic on top of mine, but that would be redundant!!!
m.