Geez, Hillary.

I know you're not supposed to talk religion and politics, but geez Hillary. I live in New York, she's MY senator. Well, not exactly. She seized the open senate seat here, where if you are a serial killer pedophile - but registered Democrat - you have a shot.

One of the things about New York state is that it is all about NYC. The state goes as the city goes. And I'm upstate. Waaaaay upstate - 400 miles away from the big city. We got visited by Hillary a bunch of times, she'd swoop in for a photo op, promise a bunch of stuff to 'revitalize' the area, then got back on the plane.

And people ate it up with a spoon! But you know what? No new jobs, nothing has changed. And maybe that's the crux of it. They are ALL full of shit!!! And I participate in the primaries, I vote, I read the position papers on different candidates, and really, it's the same old, same old.

It's kinda hard not to feel just a bit foolish by the end of it all. And I'm a prime example of the type of person that if the right noises were made in my direction by a candidate, I would probably believe them. Because I desperately WANT to believe in them.

I'm a dreamer, I'm an idealist. I believe that people, given the chance will choose the good and righteous thing to do. And really, that isn't even my experience. People are selfish and self-serving, pretty much most of the time. More so in the political arena. Patti thinks that's really funny - that I consistently will try to believe, try to trust - when life has shown me otherwise.

But I can't help it. I HAVE to believe in the goodness in people - and believe me I often disappointed.

Maybe it's just me, but Hillary just impresses me as the most disingenuous politician I can think of. And it's a gut thing. I hear her and I instantly think she's full of crap. (as opposed to believing in a candidate only to find out after they are elected that they're full of crap). I can't believe she's even in the race for the Democratic nomination. I don't know why I react that way to her, but I do. Most politicians evoke a vague sense of distrust in me, with Hillary my BS meter gets pegged instantly.

Maybe at the root of it is my combination of cynicism and hopefullness, and I hold them both dearly. Obviously, a contradiction, but not all that crazy really. I believe in 'look before you leap' and 'he who hesitates is lost' in equal measures.

Ok, maybe it is crazy.
m.