23 and counting

Patti and I have a couple of anniversaries. Patti can't remember them, she seems impaired somehow, strange trait in a woman. I often have to remind her that it's coming up and she never knows how many years. We have the living together anniversary, the sleeping together anniversary and the honest to God wedding anniversary.

That was yesterday, our actual wedding anniversary.

23 years married. More than my parents or grandparents managed, more than Patti's parents managed.

Pretty laid back as anniversary celebrations went.

We met the kids and toured that house on our street that was for sale. It's pretty hammered. Especially the downstairs apartment. And there is something very bad happening with the foundation. Someone is coming to check that out and get an estimate on it today.

We went back to our house, got some take out, watched 'Pretty in Pink' the everything Duckie edition (our next 'P' movie), and had some private anniversary fun.

We never were much on the celebrating thing. I remember, I think it was our 10th, we were going to get all dressed up and go 'out'. Maybe to a restaurant and drinks afterward. When it got to the big day, we bagged the whole thing, hit some fast food and chased each other around the house for a few hours.

And so it goes.

I'm not complaining at all. We'd much rather be home, and the rest seems like a lot of fuss! Works for us, ya know?

And I wouldn't change a thing, I can't imagine my life without Patti in it, and I know I'm a better man for being with her!

I don't know everything, but I know what a gift she's been to me.

I am one lucky man.
m.

the 'what-ifs'

I'm having a big case of the 'what ifs' lately. I'm prone to this sort of thing.

I think it's my way of trying to control my life. I'm not a control freak (I don't think), but I spend a lot of mental energy on trying to figure out 'what if this happens, how will I respond?'. 'What if my little biz takes off?'

A house went up for sale in my neighborhood last week. A double (3 bedrooms up, 3 down) Patti and I have been sorta looking at doubles for my kids. Now one came up about 10 houses away. It's waaaay under market value and we can't even tour it until tomorrow. We have an appt. at 5pm.

Here's the plan. Daughter #1 and the grandkids in the lower, Son #2 and his new wife (wedding on the 28th) in the upper. That would just be amazing. Sure, we'd charge them rent, but it would be lower than they are both paying now and they'd have a much bigger place.

What if we get it? What if it's too hammered? What if the inspection turns up something bad?

I mean, I'm working overtime on this these days. I only have to wait one day, but it's hard for me not to get a bit carried away.

Daughter #1's marriage is dissolving, she needs the help, plus our grandkids would be right down the block! My son is in graduate school and has at least two years left. He's all excited to have a whole new yard to landscape! (He completely re-landscaped my entire front yard - we won awards and were placed on the Buffalo Garden walk!)

So, lots of what ifs. It can drive a guy nuts...
m.

If it was easy, everybody would do it

My daughter's marriage is coming apart.

It's been coming for a while. You can only go to the brink so many times before you drop over the edge, ya know? They've been together over 5 years, (one son together) and he's bailing out.

Tough stuff this marriage stuff. My daughter has said to my wife that she 'wants what you and dad have'. And I get that, I do.

And Patti and I do have a terrific relationship, I am one lucky short bald guy and I know it. Our relationship is a marvel even to me, and I'm in it!

I know what we overcame to get here, and trust me our first 10 years or so were very tough. But not with/on each other. The world was tough on us, some of it self inflicted, some of it pressed on us. And we, at a very young age (23, and 25 - older woman - gotta love it!), were tested in a way most couples are not.

And I think it served to galvanize us. We had to fight together to survive our early years of no money and tough family situations. And it made our marriage resilient.

Marriage isn't for the weak of heart. It's a job for grown-ups.

It's about putting yourself down on the list a bit. It's about waiting for what you want, so your wife and kids get what they want. It's about giving up on what you want for your wife and kids needs, and accepting the sacrifice for the greater good (without all the resentment). And Patti has reciprocated in kind. (how awesome is that!)

Oversimplified? I don't think so. Easy? Not in my experience.

like I said, if it was easy, everybody would do it!
m.

Radio, Radio

In a very weird turn of events, I was interviewed on the classic rock station in Buffalo yesterday morning about my little biz!

I send a large percentage of my orders overseas, and I've been tucking stuff from Buffalo, NY (my sunny - at least today! - hometown). I really do love this town, it's a great place to live and an excellent place to raise a family. And with 5 kids and 3 grandkids, I've done my part!

I've been wrapping my product in the sunday paper, putting stationary in the boxes that have the Buffalo logo, that sort of thing. And I've gotten some cool reactions from my customers. One of my best customers in Norway read the sunday paper bits with his wife over dinner. And although they obviously don't know any of the local scene, they got quite a kick out of it.

So, I called the chamber of commerce to see if they had any promotional stuff I could put in the boxes. After getting transferred around, I finally got a guy who, although enthusiastic, never followed through.

Got me to thinking. One of the biggest Buffalo promoters in this town is Larry Norton on 97 Rock.

Larry has had a long and successful career here and is really active in charity and community events. So I dropped him and email to tell him what I've been up to. He called me back in 10 minutes after I sent it and set up an interview. So I was on the radio yesterday morning!

I was sooo nervous, I think it came out ok, I haven't heard anything back from the Norton in the Morning team yet.

Last night I said to Patti a couple times 'holy shit, I was on the radio this morning'.

What a strange/cool adventure this biz has been!

Thanks to everyone at 97 Rock - very,very cool.

I'm gonna listen to 'Physical Graffiti' today in your honor!

m.

Danish Modern part 1

I didn't know much about Danish Modern style of furniture, I've subsequently done some research on it and there are some very cool pieces out there.

Our adventure started with the dining room set, we picked up an entire set of dining room furniture from an estate sale at a consignment shop. We also found a sofa, chair, end tables and a coffee table from the same sale and got them too!!!

Here is the table - it expands out to 106" so we'll finally be able to seat everyone together!!!!
(we had 10 at Saturday breakfast this week - no problems fitting everyone!)

We also got a credenza/china cabinet combo that we placed along one wall, and a server that we temporarily put in front of the doors to our porch. I did some research on this line of furniture and if the server had a black top (ours does) it was originally sold as a 'bar cart' - whoohoooo!

I've also thrown in a pic of our dining room 'built in'. Our house was built in 1917 and is kinda (but not truly) Arts and Crafts - that stained glass window has been featured in an 'architecture walk' in the city.

I haven't taken any pics of the living room stuff yet, I'll post those soon!

What do you think?
m.

Patriarch (!?)

Patti surprised me over the weekend by referring to me as a 'patriarch'.

Conjures up some weird, Norman Rockwellian stuff for me.

We were setting up our new dining room furniture. Which is new/old. We picked it up second hand from a furniture consignment place and we got a complete dining room and living room set, all in Danish Modern style.

And when we were talking about where I should sit, Patti mentioned as the patriarch I should sit at the head of the table. Mostly, I just want to be near to the kitchen as I'm always serving/getting something during a meal. I don't think I've eaten a hot meal I've cooked in years! (The cooks out there understand - I just worry about serving everyone else first)

Patti and I both come from 'broken' homes. Both our folks divorced/remarried, my grandparents divorced/remarried. You need a legal pad to track all the kids/stepkids etc.

The thing I struggle with is the 'old' connotation to patriarch. I really have no problem with that mantle and I suppose it is true, Patti and I have become the patriarch and matriarch of a very close, loving family. I don't know how we did it, we certainly didn't have good examples of what a good marriage/family looks like. It seems miraculous to me, like some happy accident. But we did work hard at being good parents, we always took it seriously. It's strange the way life works sometimes.

And I don't mind that I'm 48 now, being older doesn't really bother me. But when I picture patriarch in my head, it resembles and old amish guy at the head of a great table, ya know?

Oh, I did get a pic of band practice! Here's yours truly....


I was going to put fester's pic on top of mine, but that would be redundant!!!
m.

cool stuff

Well, I got through the 'gig' (stupid word really, never got used to it in all my years of playing). I ended up playing on 4 songs and as always, some sounded better than others.

I was hoping to have pics to post but they didn't come in yet, I'll share them when I get them.

It was a corporate awards event, followed by an open bar and the 'entertainment'. There were 500 people in attendance and after the awards were handed out people flocked to the bar. But mostly, people had their one drink and booked. Not that I blame them, it was a Wednesday night (a school night as Patti and I say).

So after about a half a set, it was pretty thin out there. But that's cool. Had a couple vodka tonics, played a little loud guitar. Not a bad night out...

On the home front, we've been looking for a larger dining room table. I have a big old house and the way things are going with the family, we are THE house for big occasions like Easter, Christmas, etc. We also have a weekly family breakfast thing going.

The breakfast thing has a cool genesis. Patti and I had a weekly date on Saturday mornings for breakfast. Now that the kids are gone, (well, one still in Pharmacy school, but she'll be back), we would go to a local diner joint. Good food, small, only 10 tables or so. Well, the kids started to join us at the restaurant, my daughter, the grand kids, my son and his fiance, my dad when he was up visiting from Florida. We overrun the place, took up a bunch of tables, and breakfast was running up to $50 - 60 per Saturday. No way could we continue that with a kid in pharmacy school! So we moved it 'in-house.'

We have had 12 people on some weeks. And it's cool, people show, they don't show, whatever. I try to gourmet it up a bit, I've made a couple of good casseroles, quiches, anything goes.
Anyhow, our table seats 10 ok, a bit tight.

So we decided to go out and get a bigger table, the dining room is big enough to accommodate it. So we looked at the chain furniture stores and we did find a couple sets we liked, and even came close to buying one. Then we stopped at a consignment place. We didn't find anything, but the owner mentioned he had a dining room set of Danish Modern furniture coming in the next day. So we stopped by. It is soooo cool. I didn't know much about Danish Modern, but it is very, very cool. The set included a china cabinet, server, buffet, table w/6 chairs (gotta get more), and another piece that is like a credenza. It was in excellent condition and all of the pieces included were hundreds less than we were going to spend on the table and chairs!!!! So we got it!!!

As we were leaving, they pointed out a living room set (from the same estate sale), with an 8ft (!) couch, chair, two end tables and a coffee table. All from the same manufacturer, all the same style. We got that too!!! The total cost of the living room and dining room sets was about the same as just the new tables and chairs. And totally cooler than anything we could buy at the chain stores, and better made into the bargain.

They are delivering all of this tonight!!!!

Cool stuff, I'll try to post some pics!
m.